Change is become better or just be myself?

I realize I had much different between before I enter UTAR and after I enter UTAR. I easier felt lonely after I come UTAR.
Felt like actually nobody really knows and cares about me.

They won’t care about if someday I'm not together with them. Sometimes I will have this feeling but this is just what I think, actually not really is the truth.

I don’t know, but I'm a person really care about others opinion although I don’t show my reaction. Then, I tried to improve myself to react more emotion to friends but I realize again, why I feel I don’t really act like myself now?

I just like changing my personality for others people?

Is it good if I have something change? I don’t know whether is it better if I just be myself or I should change something from myself? 

Not everyone have empathy

Recently, I'm doing an assignment about to write an attitude. I have chosen empathy as my topic.

It is unacceptable that some people think we must help the others when we can? 

And why should I?

If don’t share things or help them so I will become a stingy person?!

I’ll help people when it is still in my ability to help. And of course …

Isn't it should I help them? I think their attitude whilst getting help from others people are important for me to evaluate whether should I help. 

And also…

Did they really try their best to do but really can’t achieve? 

If not, I don’t think I should suppose to help them.

I am doing my best

I hate those peoples who look down of my ability.

Why they haven’t check what have I done but they already think I won’t do it well?

 I have always no confident with myself but when I decide to do something. I’ll try my best and really do it as prefects as I can because I don’t like to make others feels I'm not serious to do something when they request from my help.

It makes me no more confident to do those things when I've been look down by others.

I know I should do better to prove to them. However it becomes more difficult to me when I heard those bad comments to me.

Who is my real friend?

Is it the one you always talk with is your best friend?

I don’t think so.

Am I acting as fake?

When my friend asked me who is the one that I feel I'm being the most comfortable with of surrounding me. I told her with the answer of the one I didn't really talk so much with.

I didn't act to friend with those I don’t like but if they try to be friend with me, of course I will talk with them more than those I feel they are kind.

Nothing reason, I just didn't try to be the one more active in making friends.

So, sometimes the friend I admire or like them so much but actually they are not my best friend.

But I wish to friend with them in someday.